Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems rhyme This doesn't.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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