What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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Chuck Norris is a normal man.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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