A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

What's funny? Women's rights.

Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

What is the difference between a joke and an antijoke? An antijoke does not have a punch line.

What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

NEVER

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

What's gay and gay? Joe

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...