There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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What did the guy say to the mushroom?

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Military intelligence.

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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Women's rights

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Rick Perry.

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What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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Laura Pratz..

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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