Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with no punchline

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What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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