Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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If you add two 1's together its 11 if you add two 2's together its 22 If you add two 3's together its 33 So what happens if you add 4 and 4? No you dumb-ass its not 44, its 8

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

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your face

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Man walks into a bar, Has a few drinks and goes home.

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A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops