What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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