Knock Knock The doors already open

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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A bar walks into a man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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