My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the blond fall down? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A muslim walks out of a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops