How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

69

What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

Women rights..

Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

What's green and wheels? Your mom.

What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

live babies

a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...