What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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Let's write an anti-joke. K.

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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Situation. A man trying to find meaning in his life. Question. Why are desieses not colorful, and tasty. Answer. Adolf Hitler and his ice cream songs that he sings on sunday mornings during brunches.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

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There is an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman and they are climbing up a mountain, when they reach the top and decide to climb down again.

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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