Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Fine, ladies first.

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Why did the man get a penis Becuse he was gay Add on He died

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

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A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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