- Anti Joke

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA GASP! X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." runs

Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint