Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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