Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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kk

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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