ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Whats funny? Your face.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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Niall Horan

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what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops