What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

A dog run after a squirrel. the pursuit didn't last long the squirrel climb a tree.

A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

what do you call a muslim flying a plane a pilot

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...