What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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Eric is gay Ha

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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Black guy something something. Anti-racist punchline.

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That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

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Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

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A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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