what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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I'm Spartacus

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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guess what?

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

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Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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