i have cancer

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Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

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I love you.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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What's 6+2? 16

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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Carlton

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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