How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

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If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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American healthcare.

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A joke

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

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Women's rights

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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