Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops