In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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What is funnier than 24 69

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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