Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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