Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops