What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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Obama lin Baden.

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops