A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

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When Zeddie LIttle takes an Unflattering picture, millions of Internet people ask him why he looks Wierd in it. He says, "well, I was having a really tough day that day- my grandpa had just died- and I didn't feel like caring about what I looked like." Either way, he essentially fades into the darkness as the new fad takes over.

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

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What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

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i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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What to hear an anti-joke? No.

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A man died.

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Why did the little boy with hepititess die? his mther drove him into the river!

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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