John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

I feel like making a good joke.But i cant. YN

Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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