What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Sorry, I need to take care of business up here, it is for the best that we do not communicate for a while, suspicions are going to be flaring up all over the place You better keep your head low, the place with the code-name "The Kings Throne" was under attack, but as you might know, its not what it used to be, you should all leave Point Zero in 3-4 hours when the dust has settled. Personally I suspect it is someone from the past, yes rivals, but according to the information nobody that knows who "The Nero" is, so as you can already tell, you and I are in equal danger until this is resolved. I promise to call you someday

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

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Water? I hardly know her.

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Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

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TRENT EGENLAUF IS a LITTLE BOY

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Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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