What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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