Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

Knock Knock Who did that?

What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

What has two legs? Half a cat

What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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