Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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How old are you? 7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops