"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

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why did the chicken cross the road

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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the cow goes moo

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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