How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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Whats the difference between Jesus and the Pope. Jesus died 2 thousand years ago

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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