Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I have cancer. And you're next.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the family have dinner? they were hungry and it was 6:00

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why did the grand mother drop her cane? A: She got pused out a window.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Chuck Norris will eventually die because he is a human being, just like all of us. His movies weren't very good either.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops