I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Have you seen Jamal's socks?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock No solicitors

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the black man do when his Polish friend died of cancer? He fertilized his front lawn as it was beginning to burn due to overexposure of the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops