Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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