What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

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Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

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a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

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What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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A black guy goes to the bar. The Barman say: What would you like to drink?

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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