A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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