What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

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What is the reward for the pimp who banged a bitch? HIV

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops