When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

thumb_up thumb_down +10

my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why does the man appear fat he is

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops