Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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Q: What did bulbasoar say to charmander? A: Bet ya thought I was gunna say Bulbasoar!!

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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9/11

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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