A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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I'm Batman.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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What is spiky and opens up wide? The Mouth…what were you thinking you perv?

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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