a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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every cloud has a silver lining

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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Why? Because.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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