Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Roses are Blue, Europe is Yellow. I suck at poems, Refridgerator

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Why was the man wearing all white? He was a part of the Ku Klux Kan.

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

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What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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