What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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What do you call a joke that is not funny? An un - funny joke.

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I'm homeless.

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What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

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Whats a blind catholics biggest fear? The priests power of chris compelling him

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Why did Hitler Kill his self Answer- He got a gas bill By Lewis

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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Knock Knock Who's there??? Your mom

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken? That one! Grandma, that's a hobo. Put your glasses on.

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops