A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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