How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

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Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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