It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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woman's rights

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i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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42

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stinky boner

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops