Matt swam through watter. Gaby drowned on dry land.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the woman die Because she was old

thumb_up thumb_down

gays

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock come in

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Let's write an anti-joke. K.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

guess what?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops