mitt romney

thumb_up thumb_down -81

What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

youre gay

thumb_up thumb_down +54

How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Who's better than badboy? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

shabalabadingdong JLR

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Rick Perry.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops